Engagement Party BEFORE the bridal Shower?

I was just curious as to what should take place first, the Engagement Party or the Bridal Shower? My fiance and I are choosing to go with an Engagement Party rather than a stag, so my family gets a chance to sit, talk and get to know him, rather than going with a stag which is more impersonal. Here is the situation: We are getting married mid Sept 07, he is American (I Canadian) and he won't be relocating here until July 07 permanently. It's customary that an Engagement Party involve both Bride %26amp; Groom and the Bridal Shower just the Bride, so I was wondering a few things. First if late June is too early for a Bridal Shower and if it would be ok to hold that prior to the engagement party? To me it makes sense to have the engagement party first, however we also wondered if we did the Engagement Party mid July, Bridal Shower mid Aug and Wedding mid Sept, if that's too "together". Any suggestions would help, either past experiences, or just knowledge of how it should go. Thanks in advance

Engagement Party BEFORE the bridal Shower?
Engagement party first, bridal party second. Timeing is up to you but normaly the engagement party is held close to the engagement, the bridal party close to the wedding.





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I am a Texan. My wife Canadian. And we did it the opposite of you.. ie she moved here.





Here is what we did.





I flew up there for the social and got to meet with her friends and family. A week later she flew down here for an engagement party to meet my friends and family.


A week before she moved she had a bridal party with her friends.


A week before the wedding I had several of my female friends and my male friends wives get together and they had another Bridal party for her. The big suprise was that I had also flown in her Maid of Honor early to be there with her as well.





We know all about the money problems with dealing with immigration. But we also felt it important to be able to spend time with friends and family as equally as possible. After all is said and done one family or the other is going to be ... as you said... over 1000 miles away.
Reply:First the engagement party then bridal party.
Reply:Engagement party first.
Reply:Instead of having separate parties have one big party, explain to your guests due to finical and the fact he will not be able to be there, you decided to have the parties all together.
Reply:Hi!


Yes, I think having the engagement party in July, bridal shower Aug etc is too much together. It might be perceived as if you are asking for gifts etc. Also, I believe it is more customary for someone else to throw you an engagement party. If it can't be done in the next month or so, then I would forgo it.





Also, from your previous post it seems as though you are having a more casual wedding? From what I gather, engagement parties are for more formal weddings. Not to offend, but I know if I was invited to a casual wedding out of town, but the bride was also having an engagement party AND a bridal shower in-town, I would think it a little tack.





If you're set on an engagement party I would make to sure to include no gifts noted on the invite.





Hope this helps!
Reply:The engagement party is usually held very soon after the engagement as it is celebrating the engagement. It's usually within a very short time fo the engagement and way before the bridal shower.





Consider getting a book on planning your wedding or on wedding ettiquette.
Reply:I would suggest you have an engagement party that is simply a small intimate gathering of just your family and his, so you all can meet and get to know one another. If travel is an issue for family members, have two- one near him and one near you.





In the same vein, I would also suggest you have two 2 showers- one for the people that live near you, and one for the people that live near him. It makes it easier on people so they don't have to travel, and they will appreciate and understand.





Or you can have all of them a month from each other (as you suggest) once he moves, but that would require travel on the part of his family, so if that's a problem, you may want to consider the above. Remember, it's your wedding, so do it however you want. If people don't understand, well, it's their problem, not yours.





He can also have his stag (called a bachelor party in the US) whenever he wants, as it's typically a "boy's night out" involving only men. Usually, it would be him, his friends, his brothers/cousins, his groomsmen, and perhaps selected men from your family who are close to him in age and or interests. Depending upon what they plan to do (which traditionally involves a trip to a strip club) the bride's father is usually not part of it. This is more so your fiancee can relax and not have to worry about impressing your dad, or being on his "best behavior" because your dad is there. It's a chance for him to just relax, be himself and enjoy the company of his closest male friends, and do guy stuff. The bride's mother is traditionally most definitely not part of it





Similarly, you can have your bachelorette party (sometimes called a hen party ) whenever you want, and invite your friends, counsins, sisters and maybe certain women from his family.